The little red hen called all of her liberal neighbors together and
said, ‘If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will
help me plant it?’
‘Not I,’ said the cow.
‘Not I,’ said the duck.
‘Not I,’ said the pig.
‘Not I,’ said the goose.
‘Then I will do it by myself,’ said the little red hen, and so she
did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
‘Who will help me reap my wheat?’ asked the little red hen.
‘Not I,’ said the duck.
‘Out of my classification,’ said the pig.
‘I’d lose my seniority,’ said the cow.
‘I’d lose my unemployment compensation,’ said the goose.
‘Then I will do it by myself,’ said the little red hen, and so she did.
At last it came time to bake the bread. ‘Who will help me bake the
bread?’ asked the little red hen.
‘That would be overtime for me,’ said the cow.
‘I’d lose my welfare benefits,’ said the duck.
‘I’m a dropout and never learned how,’ said the pig.
‘If I’m to be the only helper, that’s discrimination,’ said the goose.
‘Then I will do it by myself,’ said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to
see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little
red hen said, ‘No, I shall eat all five loaves.’
‘Excess profits!’ cried the Pelosi cow.
‘Capitalist leech!’ screamed the Boxer duck.
‘I demand equal rights!’ yelled the Jackson goose.
The Kennedy pig just grunted in disdain.
And they all painted ‘Unfair!’ picket signs and marched around and
around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
Then the leftist farmer came. He said to the little red hen, ‘You
must not be so greedy.’
‘But I earned the bread,’ said the little red hen.
‘Exactly,’ said the farmer. ‘That is what makes our free enterprise
system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he
wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive
workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy
And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen
who smiled and clucked, ‘I am grateful, for now I truly understand.’
But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again
baked bread because she joined the ‘party’ and got her bread free. And
all the liberals smiled. Fairness and compassionate equality had been
established. Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed;
perhaps no one cared…so long as there was free bread that ‘the rich’
were paying for.
Author unknown 🙂
Came my way via the cutting-edge internet, so it must be true, wouldn’t you say.