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A couple of hours ago in the library checkout line, I stood behind a cheerful looking group consisting of two fairly young, attractive women, with five well-dressed children–children ranging from 5 or 6 to 10 years old, I would say. The women were conversing as I joined the line.

“Well, did you get remarried,” said one lady to the other.

“Uhh, no. I didn’t. But we have two kids together.”She waved a hand toward a couple of the youngsters.

“Same with me. We have three. I’ll never get married again.”

It made me sad.

It made me sad because of the children. It made me sad because of their daddies. It made me sad because of their mommies. It made me sad because of their pappys and of their grannys. It made me sad because of our country. It made me sad because of our world. It made me sad because of God’s Word.

By Shirley Buxton

Still full of life and ready to be on the move, Shirley at 84 years old feels blessed to have lots of energy and to be full of optimism. She was married to Jerry for 63 years, and grieves yet at his death in August of 2019. They have 4 children, 13 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren...all beautiful and highly intelligent--of course. :)

13 replies on “Sad”

I think that one thing that many (most?) people miss in this discussion is that to really love children, you provide them a stable, loving home life with their real mother and their real father. Other arrangements exist, of course, but is that what children really need? I don’t think so.

When I hear people say that the children in “alternate lifestyle” families are just as happy and just as loved, I get physically sick. Happy, maybe. Loved? To love is to do whatever is best for the other person, regardless of the cost to you.

Because of love, people go ahead and get married, as Mike did. Because of love, people stay married even if they are not completely “happy.” Because of love, people choose not to have children (by staying unmarried or using contraception) if they know that they will be unfit parents. Because of love an unmarried girl might choose to ask a married couple to adopt her child.


Those precious children will grow up never knowing the stability of a mother and father who love God and love each other. How will they ever know how to order their own lives? It’s tragic.

Hopefully, someone will come into their lives to show them a different way of living.


I was talking to some people over at the park just the other day about stuff like this. I told them, that in the case of my wife and I, had there been no kid involved from the very beginning, we probably wouldn’t be together today. Our first son was the supreme bonder, and made us work a lot harder toward making the marriage itself and family work. I was telling them that it does take a lot of work, and while I don’t have the stats to back it up, that the early marriages these days often end a lot quicker because the couple involved are still worried about themselves individually and not the family unit they professed to love and make work.


Mike, I don’t think it never works in a different order. Marriage and families are what we make them. There is no reason why you can’t have as long and successful a marriage as anyone else, but it is work. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.


Mike, having a sense of humor in my opinion is necessary for a balanced life….laughing subject matter not withstanding…laugh on! Post from the father of BOB-O the clown.


“Grow up, get married, have children used to be the formula. Too many people have children before the other two have been completed.”

Sounds like my wife and me. We had our son, got married a little over a year later, and then she grew up. It seems as though I’m still waiting. Apparently still laughing at fart jokes keeps me in limbo from growing up.


Sis.B and Helen…Congrats to both of you for long and obviously successful marriages. On topic.. it is sad the state of marriage in America. Don’t want to sound old and dated, but the institute of marriage is no longer what God intended it to be, is it? Was this just a passing fad or what has changed?


Shirley, we’re heading to Joplin to visit family on Monday and will take a rail fanning trip through Kansas (just Bill and me). I’m going to try to link up with a couple of women I went to first grade with (maybe meet on the steps of the school.) We reconnected on Facebook . There’s a fourth woman there, if we can contact her. We’ll have a family party for our anniversary (but not on the actual day because of conflicts), and I’m getting an anniversary ring. (I have a plain wedding band and a solitaire diamond engagement ring. The anniversary ring is made of small diamonds) to go on the outside of my engagement ring.) It’s already packed!

And you know, of course, that I was kidding. You and Jerry have a happy anniversary, too. I think it’s kind of neat that we share an anniversary. Long marriages are becoming all too rare. We need to celebrate them all. After all, we took vows before God and people.


Helen, your anniversary is certainly a significant one and both you and Bill are to be congratulated. I sincerely send you my best wishes. You have accomplished what few people do. And to be able to go to the same church where you were married–what a blessing.

Are you doing anything special? Trip, little celebration or anything like that?


All of this is very sad. But I don’t think it’s always about money or prestige. I think we get things out of order. Grow up, get married, have children used to be the formula. Too many people have children before the other two have been completed. That’s the problem. Too often children are born to children. And by children, I mean people who haven’t figured out that life is not all about them.

But these are generalizations and comments on society. Not all children whose parents are unmarried are unwanted and unhappy. Some are loved by both parents. The people grew up and had children, but forgot the get married part. Thankfully, we no longer call these children ugly names.

BTW, we’ll celebrate our 40th anniversary with family this year and be in the same church the morning after. But it’s the same day as yours, and I’m sure you’ll upstage me once again by celebrating an anniversary with a higher number. 🙂


Heartbreaking. Families are no longer important, money lfestyle, material things, prestige…these are the priorities.

That brief interchange I observed this afternoon had a sharp impact on me. They were such beautiful children, happy and frolicking, and when we went out the doors and to our cars close together…my heart was broken. I thought of their fathers and their cousins and of families around the world and how our society has fallen to such a frightening degree.

During the two years we have been here in Lake Havasu I have seen too many wretched families and too many children jerked about because of the lack of parental commitment. I am sad.


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