A Conversation with the Dead

A lady died in January of 2008, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, adding late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but was now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here is the exchange, according to an article I read yesterday in a “throw-away” newspaper called Yeller Seller.

Family member: “I am calling to tell you she died back in January.”

Citibank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

Family member: “”Maybe you should turn it over to collections.”

Citibank: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”

Family member: “So what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

Citibank: “Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau. Maybe both.”

Family member: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”

Citibank: “Excuse me?”

Family member: “Did you just get what I was telling you–the part about her being dead?”

Citibank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my superviro.”

Supervisor gets on the phone.

Family member: “I’m calling to tell you she died back in January with a $0 balance

Citibank: “The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.”

Family member: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

Citibank: “Are you her lawyer?”

Family member: “No, I’m her great nephew. (Lawyer information was given.)

Citibank: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”

Family member: “Sure.” (Fax number was given.)

After they got the fax.

Citibank: “Our system is just not set up for death. I don’t know what else we can do to help.”

Family member: “Well if you figure it out, great. If not, you could just keep billing her. She won’t care.”

Citibank: “Well the late fees and charges do still apply.” (What is wrong with these people!!?”

Family member: “Would you like her new billing address?”

Citibank: “That might help.”

Family member: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot number 169.”

Citibank: “Sir, that’s a cemetery.”

Family member: “And what do you do with dead people on your planet???”

EDIT: Monday 12:49 pm.

Okay, I’m a thief: I admit it, but I just couldn’t help myself. I stole this picture from Tena. You must go to her site and read. You will be sick with laughter.

3224916636_10a976c6c9

9 thoughts on “A Conversation with the Dead

  1. amber

    yes i got a letter from citibank stating to my family that they regret to have heard about my tragic passing and wanted my lawyer who is handling my estate’s number lol talk about complete idiots lol

    Well, and aren’t we “bailing” them out, yet!

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  2. This is too funny.

    For a little over 3 years now we keep getting mail from Citibank addressed to a man who has not been at the address for quite some town. It is address to (the persons name) and next to thier name it says “deceased”.

    I have sent back the mail many times, the post office has and still they keep sending the mail to the deceased person.

    I guess you are right and computers don’t understand the word “deceased or dead”.

    God Bless and have a great day!

    It must be that Citibank truly believes in the resurrection of the dead!

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  3. This is too hilarious!!! (And the pic of the cake made me really laugh hard! Thank you for that!)

    Sounds like these people are pretty crazy…my mom had her identity stolen one time, though, and that’s when it gets really bad. She would be so embarrassed when trying to shop somewhere and they would tell her she was a thief when she showed her driver’s license!

    Janell, I tried to envision a worker writing those lines on a cake! Did he or she have half a thought that what they were doing did not make any sense at all? Besides they didn’t even spell underneath right!

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  4. I will defend these people by saying,
    “They were dropped on their heads as babies.” 🙂

    Did you read the post on my blog about the Wal-Mart cake?

    Have a great Monday! Love you.

    Tena, I have now read of the WalMart cake…actually stole it!

    Like

  5. Had a similar incident happen when our son died. I wanted to pay off a credit card he had. Customer service told me that he would have to call as they couldn’t release that information to me (his mom). Guess what – it was Sears.

    Karen, you told the people your son had died and they said he would have to call? Did you say that? Cell phones in Heaven! Never would have thought it.

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  6. I wonder what part of “she is dead” they were not able to understand.

    Sometimes I believe it is the reliance on computers that make these things so prevalent. In the olden days, one could just scribble across the bill, DEAD and that would probably be the end of it….In more ways than one. 🙂 But if a computer doesn’t have a command for the situation, everything seems to come to a halt. Ever been in a grocery or department store when the computers went down? Chaos.

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  7. Shirley, That’s hilarious. My mother tried to use her credit card at Sears one day and was informed that she was dead. She couldn’t use her credit card, but they would accept cash from her. Guess that’s their policy when selling to dead people.

    Wish I could have seen your mother’s face when the prissy little clerk said, “Mrs. (Helen’s mom), I’m sorry but our records indicate you are dead.” That is just too funny.

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  8. LMAO…that is fantastically great. I love customer service reps who can’t seem to grasp the reality outside their nice little operations manuals. And when the Sups are just as much up to speed on real life as their subo0rdinates makes it even better.

    I wonder if they’ll try the new billing address in hopes of collecting something….will give the groundskeeper an interesting piece to pick up as he clears flags and flowers off after holiday decorations!

    I was reading this to Jerry this morning, and he said, “Can that be so?” Then we proceeded to talk of occasions we have had in dealing with such people ourselves. Example: We haven’t received a tax bill for our home in Crestline in years. We know we owe one, so I always go online, determine the amount and pay it. For years I have advised the tax assessor’s office of this problem, and have filled out the the paperwork they indicated.

    This year when Jerry again complained, they said, “Oh, this can never be corrected except in person.” Recall that many times I had filled out paperwork they had given me to correct the problem. Amazing. Simply amazing.

    Like

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