Thievery at Dillard’s

A few hours ago, I came in from a thieving spree; well, at least that is the essence of language used by the lady next to me, and she was involved in the same activity as was I, for, side-by-side, we pawed (in ladylike ways, of course) through the merchandise.   We were After-Christmas-Shopping and the deals we unraveled were of such degree that the elegantly dressed lady leaned a little toward me, and quite out of the corner of her fine mouth spoke conspiratorially, “It’s like stealing, isn’t it.” She looked straight ahead as she spoke. I nodded, muttered a few words of agreement, and now glanced about to see if possibly we were being observed.

Dillard’s was the crime scene. I grieve for you if you don’t have a Dillard’s in your life, for of all the department stores encountered in my now elongated years, I consider Dillard’s to be the paragon of such places. Your understanding of my passion for this store will be enhanced by knowing that in my home place of Southern California, where I have lived most of my adult life, and where all my four children were born and reared, there is no Dillard’s, and yet I judge them the epitome of fine stores. I rate them above Macy’s, The May Company (did they merge with somebody?) and even Nordstrom’s. A few months ago when they announced the building of the new mall here in Lake Havasu, I was ecstatic to hear that Dillard’s would be one of the anchor stores.

I defend my choice by telling you this; Dillard’s puts on the the finest clearance sales of any department store I know. Their stores are beautiful to start with, showing lovely clothes and fine housewares…but it surely is their sales that set them apart. Often they advertise prices at 50 or 75% off the already discounted price. Today was such a case, and I bought this stash–four pairs of DKNY tights, eleven pairs of Hanes nylons, and four HUE slippers for the grand sum of $36.94.

Never before had I considered indulging in Dillard’s fine sales as a form of thievery, but ever since that lady spoke in those hushed tones today, mentioning the word stealing, I’ve kept my ears tuned for a knock on the door. So far, everything seems okay, though. The mall is less than two miles from our rig here, so if there’s anything you want me to pick up, just give me a call. 🙂