Rolling smoothly off their tongues and out the edges of their mouths are these discussions of ghastly amounts of money and debt and greed and mismanagement and “bail-out”–a baffling state of affairs for it sounds as though it involves me too, although I don’t think I had a thing to do with it, and, as far as I can recall, nobody asked my opinion, and I don’t think I joined up. I tell you frankly, I am just not accustomed to speaking at any length or with much authority or with any intelligence about money deals that mount up into multiplied millions and billions and threaten to tap on the door of trillions, so I hope nobody is depending too much on me and my expertise, although I’m always willing to help out when I can. Tell you the truth though; I just don’t get it.
But I think I understand that I just bought a bunch of houses and maybe an insurance company or two and saved the country from a recession and maybe a dark depression and I do know our checking account checks have the name Washington Mutual on them, but now there is not a Washington Mutual…I guess J. P. Morgan Chase backed up a pickup truck to our WaMu branch, loaded in our couple thousand dollar bills and took Jerry’s money and mine over to their own bank. I don’t know what to think, though, because I’m not sure where J. P. Morgan Chase is, and our money was in the San Bernardino branch of Washington Mutual. You know–the one over on Highland Ave.
Well, anyway, I’m a bit consoled because I own all those houses. I wonder, though, if I have to make payments or if I bought them outright? Did I get a bargain?
One other thing: Can you believe WaMu did not call to let me know they were shifting around our money. Didn’t hear a thing…but I was kinda wondering about our dollars so I googled about until I found J. P. Morgan Chase and guess what: They’re welcoming me! Sweet of them, huh.
Shirley Buxton 
17 replies on “Am I Rich or Broke or What?”
Detroit I run red lights.
Cops don’t mind, it’s alright,
they say “You can do whatever, you’re white.”
Baby, I can do whatever; I’m white!
I got me some clothes. I dress real whack.
Bright white pants and a fanny pack.
I can dress however I like.
Yeah, I can do whatever, I’m white. Yeah.
Anything I want, I can buy a couple stocks, and I sit outside, and I drink some red wine, and the cops drive by and they shout “Hell yeah!” cause you know that the cops don’t care. Yeah.
I love me some hockey.
I need me some hockey.
Frisbee’s alright, but it ain’t no hockey.
Buy me a retriever and listen to Reba, and I can be a stay-at-home dad. Yeah.
hen I’m in Detroit I run red lights.
Cops don’t mind, it’s alright,
they say “You can do whatever, you’re white.”
Baby, I can do whatever; I’m white!
I got me some clothes. I dress real whack.
Bright white pants and a fanny pack.
I can dress however I like.
Yeah, I can do whatever, I’m white. Yeah.
Anytime I want, man, I can go golfing.
I can go jogging, riding on my moped,
Ride down to the lakefront in my Dodge Neon.
Do me some fishing and some jetskying.
I can grab my keys and head out to the skate ring.
Got my rollerblades and the camcorder taping.
I can wear my shorts up above my knees and I always pay my Blockbuster fees.
I love me some hockey.
I need me some hockey.
Frisbee’s alright, but it ain’t no hockey.
Buy me a retriever and listen to Reba, and I can be a stay-at-home dad. Yeah.
hen I’m in Detroit I run red lights.
Cops don’t mind, it’s alright,
they say “You can do whatever, you’re white.”
Baby, I can do whatever; I’m white!
I got me some clothes. I dress real whack.
Bright white pants and a fanny pack.
I can dress however I like.
Yeah, I can do whatever, I’m white. Yeah.
i’m racist
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I can’t believe you deleted a black mans posts.
how racist >:[
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Oh WOW..I DID post in the wrong column….maybe someone stuffed a twinkie in my coffee and I never noticed since I put in enough sugar in my coffee to put a diabetic into a coma.
Well, glad you got a good gigglefest out of it anyways!
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Im in the highest office thats right!
Now I can do whatever I like
Now I can do whatever I like
yeahhhh
So what Im half black and half white
So what I fist bump with my wife
Man, I can do whatever I like
I can do whatever I like
McCain I thought that you knew
By debate number two
That I was gonna win and there was nothing
That you could do
You got so upset by the third debate
I swear to god I think I saw tear,
LOOK
I picked Joe Biden
Now this ones riding
Long as yall got me you wont need nobody
You want it I got it
Propose it, Ill sign it
Tell them republicans BE QUIET
First black prez
Aint that nice,
Im in the highest office thats right!
Now I can do whatever I like
So what Im half black and half white
So what I fist bump with my wife
Man I can do whatever I like
Man I can do whatever I like
Palin was the hottest
MESS that ran for office
She spoke so odd
Couldve swore it was a comic skit.
She got people excited
But still she couldnt stop this
I won all three debates
If you got it Then you got it!
Now im trying to put money back in your wallet
So as I fix this financial crisis
Theres a long list
Of things I really gotta fix
Like no more shady healthcare
YOU can get what I get.
My country can have what it wants.
McCain can have a seat and think about what he did wrong
I know you aint never have a prez like that
That gives amazing speeches then turns around and raps!
I picked Joe Biden
Now this ones riding
Long as yall got me you wont need nobody
You want it I got it
Propose it, Ill sign it
Tell them republicans BE QUIET
First black prez
Aint that nice,
Im in the highest office thats right!
Now I can do whatever I like
I can do whatever I like
So what Im half black and half white
So what I fist bump with my wife
Man I can do whatever I like
Man I can do whatever I like
Im talking Black prez rides
And black prez ice
Fo at least the next fo years thats tight
Americas upset
And Im just right
Time to put this black pres in yo life
THATS RIGHT
I picked Joe Biden
Now this ones riding
Long as yall got me you wont need nobody
You want it I got it
Propose it, Ill sign it
Tell them republicans BE QUIET
First black prez
Aint that nice,
Im in the highest office thats right!
Now I can do whatever I like
So what Im half black and half white
So what I fist bump with my wife
Man I can do whatever I like
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OH AND YOUR RACIST. BARACK OBAMA OWNS.
YOUR PROBABLY JUST JEALOUS AND IGNORANT THAT A BLACK MAN IS GOING TO BE PRESIDENT.
BLACK PEOPLE ARE JUST AS CAPABLE OR THAN ANYONE ELSE.
DON’T FORGET THAT.
Ignorant old church woman.):<
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):<
AGREED.
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OH! AND YOU’RE BROKE, YOU OLD CHURCH LADY!
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I HATE MENTALLY CHALLENGED PEOPLE!!!!
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I actually like the plan Newt Gingrich spelled out in an interview this week. I don’t think we should sit back and do nothing, nor am I in support of a “bail out”. There’s other solutions out there… but most people wouldn’t know it. I don’t think there is a silver bullet that will help us avoid a recession though.
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Okay I’ll try this again, my mouse caused issues with overposting and was rejected.
8 1/2 years ago I was eating twinkies out of a vending machine daily. I was then challeneged to eat a whole box during a 15 minute work break. One guy bought the box, and I ate, clearing it all in 5:10. I don’t think I’ve eaten more than 10 or 15 twinkies since that sugar induced jittery evening!
Mike, I’m having a private giggle here before my computer screen. A giggle at your expense. You’re either way too nervous about the market, or you sneaked a Twinkie, and are having a sugar attack: I think you’ve posted your comment in the wrong column. 🙂
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Democracy is built upon Capitalism.
This bail out is Socialism.
It will destroy this country.
My advice to everyone:
pull all money out of mutual funds, stocks, bonds etc, put it in cans in the back yard, or even better, spend it.
If there is a sale somewhere, get the kids two pairs of shoes, pants, shirts etc.
Your dollars will be worthless in less than a year, in fact this may be the darkest financial Christmas since 1933.
Not being doom and gloom, but when your stockbroker is saying that to you, it’s wise to listen, especially when he is a multi-millionaire!
Bill, I hope your stockbroker is wrong. What is right is that we definitely do not need any more socialism shoved down our too willing throats!
I shudder to think of our fate if Senator Obama is elected President.
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Michael, Ilooki for mychex, too!
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now looki here Mr. President I still got all kindsa chex,that mean im still rich too?
Mike, you and Dean behave yourselves.
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I’ve got it! The government is corrupt, so the solution is more governement. Teaching a child to ride a bike sometimes means the little guy is going to fall – else he never learns.
Admittedly simplistic views by someone who is also doesn’t have the answer, but just knows alarm and panic aren’t the best ways to make decisions – that’s called impulse and can be a consumer’s worst nightmare.
Strange times… perilous times…
My basic reaction is as yours: let the people fall but others (are they wise or not?) say if we let them crash, we will all crash with them.
I do understand your last line…and agree…strange times…perilous times..
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Crazy, hmmm, Sis. Buxton? I am a Business major and STILL trying to figure out exactly how all of this works. And, exactly how it affects us today, on a day to day basis.
We would go to prison if we’d been doing, the last few years, what our precious government has been. Writing checks with no money in the bank! Wow!! As I said, I am still trying to wrap my confused mind around exactly how all of this works. From what I see and have researched and have questioned and discussed with my academically minded colleagues, any Bailout Plans at this point are going to cost us much more than they are going to cost the Government.
Talk about coming home to a world of changes….
I do like the idea of owning houses, though. 😉
Anna, I’m depending on you, now. You’re young, smart, educated. Make some sense of all this for me.
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Well, if it turns out we just bought houses, I wonder if we get to pick which ones we can move into???
Well, I’m seeing abandoned houses and signs up and down lots of streets. I guess we just choose one and move in. Not sure how the rest works out…surely no one would expect us to pay the mortgage for those who signed up for more than they could afford. They wouldn’t, would they?
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Well written, Shirley. You made an important point very eloquently.
Thank you, RGuy.
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