Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

The ubiquitous Someone has labored over important research and has been unselfish enough to circulate this cutting-edge information. On this spot, I found the hallowed writings and want to share my joy at such insight. Could do with some lightening up around here.

BARACK OBAMA

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The

chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the

need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on

the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to

cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure

– right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the

chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t

about me…….

GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don ‘ t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want

to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken

is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image

of the chicken crossing the road…

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s

intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of

chicken?

ALGORE:

I invented the chicken!

ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been

allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he

must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it

goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need

to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his

‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why

he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken

learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m

going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the

road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the

chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it

experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its

life long dream of crossing the road.

NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in

his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a

standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price

dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

information.

DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the

chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL:

Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? –

That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that

chicken is gay.

And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott

all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media

white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side’.

That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody

told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads,

but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.

Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new

platform is much more stable and will never cra…# nor need a fu&&^(C% reboot.

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath

the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:

Where’s my gun?

AL SHARPTON:

It was a white chicken, not a black chicken – We need more black chickens

____________

There you have it…but the list is unfinished. From the sterling group who read here, there are bound to be other nuggets of wisdom with which the world cannot exist. Let’s hear it. I’ll start.

JERRY

Get that chicken to the altar. I see no evidence of his salvation.

38 thoughts on “Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

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  3. These just get more funny! Hilarious!!!

    I’m curious to see how long they will go on….:D:D:D

    Where, my dear is your contribution? That innate intelligence and finely honed education surely is not to be wasted.

    Like

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  5. Jana

    Sis. Buxton,
    Slightly off topic but I have a question….HG and aprdmomy….did you ladies happen to recently get lost going somewhere together? LOL

    Back on topic…

    Dr. Seuss:
    I do not like this side of the road, I do not like it, no, no, NO! I do not like it I do not like this side of the road, so to the other side I must go.

    Like

  6. aprdmomy

    The mommy chicken crossed the road Mrs. HG, to find a service station ; where perhaps someone could help said creature find her way to her desired destination.

    Like

  7. GAVIN NEWSOME

    He’s a rooster and he’s rapidly crossing the line into our golden state, while here in San Francisco his rooster partner awaits his arrival. Exceptional wedding plans have been laid.

    Like

  8. Esther

    This is all just tooooo funny. You have some very intellegent people contributing to your blog Sis. Buxton. Then you have people like me. Ha!
    I hope more people keep contributing. Too much negative on the news. Fact is: seems only negative things get in the news. We need positive and we need laughter.
    How about this one?
    Elizabeth Taylor: The chicken crossed the road to get to that georgious hunk of a rooster.

    Like

  9. renaissanceguy

    Justice Anthony Kennedy:

    It doesn’t actually say so in the Constitution, but I declare it unconstitutional for the chicken to cross the road.

    Like

  10. renaissanceguy

    Karl Marx:

    The chicken crossed the road to unite with other proletariat chickens who have been oppressed by the bourgeois farmers.

    Like

  11. Joel Osteen- ” Well um, I… um, we don’t know if the chicken did cross the road. Yes, I do see his tracks but you know I just try not to judge”.

    THE BIG BAD WOLF- “Come over here on this side of the road little chicken”.

    Like

  12. Ha ha ha!! Loved it and I really needed a laugh.

    Here’s one from all the kids I have taught Sunday School to:

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.

    and some even added “duh”.

    Like

  13. America’s Top Model – with that outfit, you may as well hit the road, chicken!

    Helen – I viewed this entire post as TIC (tongue-in-cheek) and not serious opinions.

    Like

  14. HG

    Two Unnamed Mommies (of very handsome boys):

    Which road did the chicken cross? Was I supposed to turn on that road? I passed that road 40 miles ago? Why does the sign say Now Entering Mexico? I’m looking for the road the chicken is crossing…

    …or how can I possibly be in Las Vegas?…

    The owner of this blog would under no circumstances identify the unnamed mommies of very handsome boys: too embarrassing.

    Like

  15. Bill Cosby:
    The poor chicken had no one to guide him. Where were the fathers to help this poor chicken? Why were they not there to help him?

    Rev. Ike:
    The poor chicken was crossing the road so he could put his hand on the radio!

    Rush Limbugh:
    I don’t care why he crossed the road. He just gave up on operation chaos. Dumb bird!!

    Bill O’Reilly:
    This bird is one of those pin heads. He was not happy so he went across the road, and for what.

    Like

  16. LOLOL!! I’m glad I’m not that chicken, although, we all might be that confused after this election, or during this election, or across this election, or over this election, or … well, I think you know what I mean………;P

    Love it, thanks for the laugh today.

    Like

  17. SHIRLEY BUXTON

    I readily acknowledge you and I to have quite different opinions about road-crossing chickens. I believe I’m understanding you now to say that I don’t have enough experience to have formed a correct conclusion about the incident. We just disagree here.

    Peace.

    Like

  18. Ha ha ha! This is great! And I love goodbear’s additions.

    How about these?

    Buddha: There is no chicken.

    Jesus: If the chicken demands to go to the other side, go with it twice.

    Like

  19. Michelle Obama – “For the first time in my adult life….I’m proud of that chicken”

    Condi Rice – “Success is not assured, but the chicken is resolute. This is an historic time for this chicken.”

    Like

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