Incest and Same Sex Marriages

Today was one of the exceptional times when I had the opportunity to listen to my favorite talk show host, Dennis Prager, and although I couldn’t sit down and hear every word, I did have the radio on for the full three-hour segment, and heard bits and pieces of everything. I was stunned to hear of the following account of a father and daughter who have confessed to having a sexual relationship and of producing more than one baby. I was fascinated by the question Dennis posed to his audience:

“Do you listeners who believe in same sex marriage, have a problem with a father/daughter sexual relationship? Why? Why not?”

Scandal … Jennifer and John Deaves tell their story.

In this article, the couple tells of falling in love, of divorcing their spouses so they could be together, and tell of the children they produced. The former wife of the man reveals how it felt to have her husband run off with his daughter. You may also be interested in seeing a video of a psychologist who speaks to the damage such relationships do to children.

I wasn’t able to hear one response on the radio today, but I’d like to extend the same platform here on my blog, asking the same question.

My definite opinion is that incest and same sex marriage is wrong in every way: morally, culturally and emotionally. The sanctioning of such skewed relationships will lend (and is lending) to the downfall of our society. Once morality is set aside, how can there be limits? What would limit such a society? Both incest and same sex marriages are despicable.

I want to hear your thoughts and any insight you may have.

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My devotional blog is here.

28 thoughts on “Incest and Same Sex Marriages

  1. lilly

    If we are Christians and we believe the Bible is God’s word and not a simple collection of myths and legends, then we have to condemn both homosexuality and incest as sins. If we don’t consider the Bible as the word of God or we don’t believe in God at all, then we can accept homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle. But on the same time we must ask ourselves: what if incestous relationships are also motivated by love and not just by desire for sex? What if I am wrong when I condemn such relationships? Think about it.

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  2. lilly

    Biblically speaking, both incest and homosexuality are sexual sins. The difference is that the first is still illegal and frown upon in most countries, while the latter is increasingly accepted in nowadays society. (pollitical and legal pressure had it’s part too) That’s the only significant difference.

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  3. lilly

    A question to all those people out there who love to say how normal and moral homosexuality is and how immoral and disgusting incest is: do you people think that you would be as tolerant as you are now with same sex relationships if homosexuality was illegal, as incest is? Or if you weren’t taught from childhood in schools/by media that homosexuality is normal and incest is not? I don’t think so. In fact, if you lived a few decades ago or 100 ago, you would think the same things about homosexuality as you think now about incest: that it’s a disgusting and immoral and unnatural. And if you lived in a society where incest and incestuous marriage are legal and taught in schools as normal relationships and where incest parades take place in public places, you wouldn’t even dare to criticise incest, in order not to be considered bigots/fundamentalists.

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  4. kames

    i found this place researching incest
    and i probably won’t come back here
    but let me say some things

    i agree with pat
    it is not in our power to say who’s who
    religion is a personal choice
    it shouldn’t be imposed on others
    incest, same-sex or all relationships rely on rights
    the government doesn’t have the right to say you’re supposed to be with this person
    you have the right to free will
    and consensual relationships with sentient beings are not wrong and it is a unconstitutional to say so
    take a look at the bible
    http://listverse.com/religion/top-6-incestuous-relationships-in-the-bible/
    many, many people were born of incest
    and if it became taboo or regulated when signs of deterioration became evident
    sodoma and gomorrah are often viewed as evidence against homosexuality
    but lot had incestuous sex and offsrping after such event without any rebuking
    incest or same sex relationships, whether you approve or not exists being legal or not
    so why should morality aka normality dictate who should be together with whom
    of course, there is a chance for abuse but abuse already happens ie catholic church anyone?
    being legalized, it would bring a new spotlight on these issues and education/awareness and protection of rights therefore actually decreasing abuse
    and “harmful genetics” is not reason to regulate relationships
    the governmet is not meant to do that and is not supposed to enforce biases against the rights of citizens
    with advancement in science like contraceptives and in vitro fertilizations should diminish any negative side effect of those stigmatized bonds
    also, the mosaic law came after all of this and incest is not on the 10 commandments
    jesus came to abolish the law but he fulfilled the commandments and didn’t take them away
    rather he simplied to us with one commament > love thy neighbor and all that you already know but may not actually practice
    read the bible again and grow closer to god

    for the record
    i am a creationist
    i am an evangelical
    i favor civil rights but homosexuality is not christian
    ie i accept that you’re gay but it doesn’t mean anything to me
    incest is more christian than homosexuality
    harmful misunderstandign of the scriptures lead to race wars and slavery misconceptions found in the bible

    the government does not have the right to legislate your bedroom

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  5. Shonice

    The outright condemnation expressed here is nor surprising. It is easy to sit on the sidelines and make judgements, however, there are people, real people involved in these relationships.
    I am a twelve year-old girl who recently discovered that my parents, who are happily living together, are actually aunt and nephew.
    They gave life to me, they raised me to the best of their ability, and I will always love them.

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  6. hank

    the bible condones incest
    (lot & his daughters for example)

    so why is it considered wrong now?
    the bible says more against homosexuals marrying than it does against incest.

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  7. Am I a radical Christian?

    My views about right and wrong are generally what they believed 100 years ago and 2,000 years ago. Do such things change?

    Then I guess St. Paul must have been a “radical Christian” for listing various sinful activities that would forfeit one’s membership in the kingdom of heaven.

    As for the house I live in, well, I hope my faith will give me a place in Christ’s mansion with many rooms.

    Peace!

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  8. Hi, Aulelia–

    Been traveling today and could not reply until now.

    While you and I disagree somewhat, we are totally in agreement about forced incest. Perhaps I was not clear in my first post, but I at no point intended to say that forced incest (which is rape) should be regarded on the same plain as same-sex marriage. My point is that consentual incest and consentual same-sex relationships are both wrong. If force is involved in either case, that of course is wrong, and I agree that to abuse a child is the worst of all. No question.

    That Joseph Fritzel case is the most sickening and abominable case of which I ever heard. I plan to blog about it when I get the time. Think of that poor girl giving birth to those babies alone–it is the saddest, most lonely account I know.

    Thanks for visiting my site. I enjoy talking with you, even though we don’t agree on every point. 🙂

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  9. @Shirley, thank you for responding. I disagree wholeheartedly though 🙂

    I am a member of the Roman Catholic church but that does not mean that I must automatically believe everything that the Catechism endorses.

    I think it is incredibly important not to confuse incest and same sex marriages.

    In the current Josef Fritzl case in Austria where he raped his own daughter and made her bear 7 of his children/grandchildren, it was an act of incredible sickness and disgust. It was not consensual. She did not want to be a prisoner.

    Thus how can anyone compare incest like that or any time of incest where an adult misuses their position of trust to destroy someones life to a situation where two men or two women want to consent to life together ?

    It is completely incongruous in my mind fully. I just think it is ludicrous in fact. By comparing incest and same sex marriages as bad, you are thus trivialising the heartbreak and horror of incest.

    Same sex marriages do not affect how I live. If gay men have civil union, it does not affect me, it does not hurt me, it is not a violation of my civil rights. (Lol, it would make me want my boyfriend to propose!). However, if my little sister or anyone in my family was molested by an adult in the family, that would destroy my life.

    Don’t be blinded by gung-ho extremism. It is crippling.

    Thank you for reading.

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  10. In typical radical Christian fashion, Father Joe twists things around to make anyone who would criticize seem like the one with the problem. But, the TRUE context of my words was simply this — and this time, READ them Father Joe:

    I actually think that people who call themselves “Christians” but then rail against other human beings, judge them as “despicable” and would deny them civil rights are, in fact, despicable themselves. But hey, that’s just me!

    All I did was remind the person who lives in the glass house about the dangers of throwing stones.

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  11. Good response Shirley!

    Is it not peculiar that traditional Christians are told not to judge and reprimanded but it is okay for those same critics to judge Christians, condemning them as “despicable”?

    As a minister of the Gospel I believe in the forgiveness of sins, but that implies, of course, that sin must be named. Then comes repentance and divine mercy.

    I still believe it is possible to hate the sin but love the sinner. The high ground belongs entirely to Christ. We are all sinners.

    Of course, we’re all sinners, and I agree that we can despise and detest the sin and truly love the sinner.

    I hope I have always been a merciful person. I know of a surety that the older I get, the more I understand God’s mercy, and the more I understand that almost on a daily basis, I need a big slug of it. If it weren’t for that sterling attribute of God, there is no way I could stand in His presence.

    But Grace. But Mercy washes, justifies and purifies me. Happy thought, indeed.

    Bless you for being here and for your good words.

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  12. Hi, Aurelia–

    Welcome to my blog. Hope you’re here often.

    As I mentioned in my post, this question was raised by Dennis Prager on his radio talk show, and unfortunately I was not able to hear many of the responses, but his raising the question stimulated my thinking on the issue, an issue which extends into the philosophical thought that challenges our issue of “morality” in one area, while accepting it in another.

    Most churches, including the Catholic church, I believe, teach against both homosexuality and incest. The question then is why do we condemn one and applaud the other; both are spoken against in the Bible.

    Some, including the couple pictured here, would use your commendation of same sex unions as being “encouraging because they highlight the positive sides of the human race that include love compassion and commitment to a lasting union” and describe incestuous relationships in the same way.

    Appreciate your interest and your comments.

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  13. I stumbled upon this blog whilst researching about incest after the horrific story in Austria where a father locked his daughter in a cellar for 24 years and raped her, she bore 7 children.

    Firstly, I would like to say that I agree that incest is despicable and just an atrocity to the human race. I cannot believe that father-daughter couples like the one in your post can even attempt to justify themselves. However, I fundamentally disagree with your assertion that same-sex marriages are wrong.

    I am a heterosexual Christian (proud Roman Catholic) but I do not think it is fair to lump same-sex marriages in the same group as incest. Incest is absolutely disgusting and is a marker of abuse that adult family members inflict against children and is also indicative of a imbalance in families. However, same sex unions are symbols of love between 2 people who want to share their lives together.

    How can that be the same as incest ? Same sex unions if anything are encouraging because they highlight the positive sides of the human race that include love, compassion and commitment to a lasting union. I think putting incest and same sex in the same cateogory is over-simplifying the incest subject and the same sex issue. They are not the same. The former is an aberration of human behaviour whilst the latter is part of human society in a positive way.

    I don’t think it is fair to punish same sex couples as being bad as “incest”.

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  14. I actually think that people who call themselves “Christians” but then rail against other human beings, judge them as “despicable” and would deny them civil rights are, in fact, despicable themselves. But hey, that’s just me!

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  15. Tammy

    Mrs. Buxton, This is the first time I have visited your site and know only what I read here, however, from what I read , you are a person who loves God and have a very balanced view of spiritual matters. Also I see a very loving attitude towards a world lost in sin. I am thankful for that. To comment on your question about homosexuality, and incest: God’s word clearly states these are sin. It doesn’t matter what we think or feel, God’s word is true, and eternal, and we can’t change it.

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  16. Pingback: To Speak Against Evil « Shirley Buxton

  17. HG

    I also spend very little time thinking and listening about where other people put their genitals. While I think this is horrible and disgusting, I don’t worry too much about what consenting adults agree to do. I DO however, care very much that these two people have created children. THIS is very much an abomination. They produced a child in 2001 who died soon after birth due to a congenital defect. They tried again, and now have a 9 month old daughter. THIS IS EVIL! This poor innocent child did not consent to this incestuous relationship, yet she will have to deal with the ramifications of their selfishness for the rest of her life.

    When competent adults screw up their life, I’m sad. When adults screw up a child’s life, I’m mad.

    The couple stated they have no problem explaining to their child that her daddy is also her grandpa. The dad also stated that he knew the relationship with his daughter was illegal, “but so what”. This extremely self-centered man has ruined two people’s lives forever, and hurt many more.

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  18. Helen,

    I have to ask then. Do you believe that the other children living in this home are unharmed by this situation.

    If they are being harmed simply from living in the home should they be removed, and does the state have the right to do so?

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  19. Adultery is cheating, breaking a vow (which is more than a promise). That’s wrong. But otherwise, I spend very little time thinking and listening about where other people put their genitals. I would have turned off that talk show to mind my own business. This is not to say I don’t think God has an opinion. I just don’t see it as my place to correct others sexual behavior, when it isn’t taking place in public, which is a totally different matter. Sex with children is another matter, too. That’s abuse of the worst kind.

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  20. My presumption was that incest was still illegal, am I wrong? Of course, sodomy was also once a crime and now proponents claim it as a civil right. It is all very sickening. Our revulsion to such things is not merely a matter of Christian faith, but nature itself is opposed to it. I suspect that human frailty is being manipulated by a supernatural evil that brings darkness to the truth. Men and women were made for each other. Their very bodies allow a marital unity that fosters both true fidelity and the fruitfulness of children. Homosexuality feigns the marital act with violence and perversion. Fathers and mothers are to regard their children always as their children, safeguarding their innocence and purity, preparing them to be good and wholesome adults. A true father and mother gain a son or daughter with marriage. They must never allow themselves to think of their children in a sexual way. Our culture is over-sexed. Pornography breaks down the family bonds. Sexuality is reduced to pleasure for its own sake. We worship youth and the body. This graphic sexuality is the root of pederasty, pedophilia and incest. Again, I think the devil has a hand in darkening consciences. A parent should be willing to die to preserve his child’s well being. Incest does incalculable harm and distorts the personality. Nature itself is offended and genetic problems often emerge in the children produced.

    It is painful to think our society has come to this. Often the media exploits such things to feed a purient interest that furthers the overall corruption. This is very upsetting. I feel so very sorry for the girl mentioned above. It makes me angry. I have to go pray, now.

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  21. Esther

    Shawnna is right. I couldn’t say it better.
    However…………this is not something new. This kind of thing went on thousands of years ago.
    I believe the Bible even speaks of some of this. I could be wrong. I know it is worse today and will probably continue to get worse. We are living in the End Times. We should be disgusted but not surprised.

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