Rod-Straight Parenting

Can you hear me clapping over here? https://i2.wp.com/www.krane.net/walt/art/hatsCelebration.jpgIs that confetti flying through your screen and can you see my party hat?

A modern-day father has shown his backbone! Yes!

The Softpedia story was revealed on EBay when, after discovering his son smoking pot in the backyard, a father decides, as punishment, to sell the Christmas present he had bought for the son. Calin Clabel reveals some of the dad’s statements:

“So I was so relieved in that I had finally got the Holy Grail of Xmas presents pretty much just in the nick of time. I couldn’t wait to spread the jubilation to my son. Then, yesterday, I came home from work early and what do I find? My innocent little boy smoking pot in the backyard with 2 of his delinquent friends.”

“I thought I could still justify getting him this present. Maybe it would make him stay home more and ‘rock out’ on this fake guitar thing. He pretty much spends all his free time at his friend’s house playing it anyways (while high on marijuana, I would imagine”

“After I caught him getting high on my patio I did the typical yelling, screaming, kicking out the friends, etc… but I had not decided on a suitable way to punish him. As of the time of me writing this, he does not know I got him Guitar Hero 3. I will show him the auction once it is posted and we can watch it finish together. Sort of a “‘Father-Son bonding experience'”

Unfortunately, this dad’s actions flies in the face of the norm for 21st century culture here in the United States. What do you think? Is that action too harsh? After all, it is Christmas. Could he have chosen a better way to discipline his son? Will this make his son bitter and more likely to rebel further?

I told you my thoughts in my opening lines. What are yours? Be brave now.

Image of painting from Walter Kane at Google images

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My devotional blog is here

13 thoughts on “Rod-Straight Parenting

  1. Im agree with Darla.

    Kids is an adult who doesnt grow up yet, so for me introduce them into neighborhood and some small responsibilities will affect in their personality in the future

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  2. I agree in principle with you, Darla. To be an effective parent is sometimes as precarious as walking a tightrope.

    I believe it is safe to say, though, that if a child absolutely knows his parent loves him that goes a long ways toward accepting the discipline. Attitudes are extremely important.

    Ronak, I don’t believe this boy should have been beaten. Absolutely not!

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  3. I believe that there is always a deeper reason for using drugs…agree that it is wrong. But provoking more anger, bitterness, and wall between child and parent will only make everyones heart sick…There are other ways to punish children, but it may require the parents attention and time as well.. just my thoughts

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  4. I think it would be wrong especially if the child is beaten up for doing something wrong..

    Children are small and there is always a way to get them connected to what you say..

    Children dream a lot and thats the way you can connect with them..

    Especially if you can be a painter, an introvert artists who can paint their imaginations with colors they’ve never seen.. you will never ever have to punish them for whatever they do and in fact they wont do anything wrong because you would definitely COMMAND RESPECT in their eyes.

    here’s something special on that aspect:

    http://www.goodparenting.co.in/parenting/how-to-help-chidren-grow-mentally-physically-and-spiritually/

    Do check it out and then reply back to my comment here..

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  5. I really can see both sides of this issue. There certainly does need to be consequences for his actions. And those consequences need to be directly linked to smoking pot for the punishment to be the most effective. Excuse me while I step in school mode here… In any type of behavioral modification the punishment whether positve (spanking or adding chores) or negative (taking something away) it needs to happen immediately after the unwanted behavior. In this case, the son didn’t even know he had it before it was taken away. Also, the punishment is going to be too far after the fact and he won’t associate that sinking feeling with smoking pot as readily as he would have if there was a punishment that was better linked and closer linked to the offense.

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  6. Hi Shirley,

    I think the father has his point for trying to teach his son a lesson. But I really doubt it if it would make an real effect on his son after selling the Guitar Hero 3. Yes, I think the son may regret not having the opportunity of receiving the gift, but that may be just for a few days. Teenagers nowadays are rather careless and inconsistent. Take a look again two or three days later, he’ll be back in his old ways. I think that unless the father lets the son actually experience holding or playing that guitar, he won’t realize what he missed if it’s already been sold. However, if the father gives his son the opportunity to experience actually owning the guitar, together with a warning that it will be taken away from him the moment he commits the same offense again, the thought of losing it as a punishment might make the son have second thoughts of going back to his old ways. Plus, think about all the time and effort he exerted just to buy that gift. I would say go ahead and give the gift, together with that warning, I mean. Pray to God for changes, and who knows… after this he might never need to punish his son ever again.

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  7. I do believe in tough love. Way to go! @ the Dad who did it. Parents need to be Parents not some “need to be nice so I will be loved in return” attention seekers or “I will be the Hangman for every mistake” drill sargeants. Parenting is maintaining the delicate balance of growth and limits on growth, a balance between what is allowed and what is unacceptable behaviour.

    I do think that we are abusing the concept of “freedom of choice and individuality” in this country. The deal is, Freedom isnt FREE, choices have consequences(good or bad depends on viewpoint) and Individuality is an Ideal that lives within limits. The reality is that none of us has any individuality. We are individuals with individuality only when compared with other individuals with other individualities..

    On the concept of Gift Giving. A Gift in my opinion is not something that can be bought or taken away.

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  8. Alright, I’ve got to tell the story. My children know it, so it’s okay to tell you.
    My father was very strict.
    One year for Christmas, he gave me a used deck of cards (family, go fish kind) because I really outdid myself with red checks almost daily in the month of December. The gift in the upper closet, bought & wrapped? Well I got it later. You know it’s funny, I don’t remember what it was! A little harsh maybe, I was an only child, but I learned.

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  9. What? A person (parent or otherwise) gives a gift to show his/her love not as a result of good behavior. A gift is not a reward. Yes, the boy should learn that actions have consequences, but this sends mixed messages. This says, you earn gifts. A gift by definition is freely given, a gift is an object lesson for THE GIFT God gave us. And yes, the blood of Jesus covers the boy’s actions. This is a stupid way to punish the boy that could taint Christmas forever. How is the boy to learn of grace? The father wants the son to obey, but he isn’t working on bonding (that has to do with understanding and listening and seeing the other person’s point of view.)

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  10. Carol–

    I’m constantly astonished at the lack of strong but loving parenting in the United States. A couple of days ago, I was talking with a dear lady here in Lake Havasu, who reared 6 children alone, with no support from anyone else. She told me of mowing the lawn on Saturday as her teen-age boys slouched around the living room.

    “Why did you do that?” I incredulously inquired.

    “Well, they wouldn’t do it. I had asked them all week.” Meekly she replied, and now acknowledges what a mistake that was.

    Unbelievable…but true.

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